Yes, you know who you are and thanks to technology we know who YOU are too!
This post is just for you, but it is a cautionary post to those friends out there in the ether space that are actually worthy to call themselves human because YOU surely are not!
It was a nice time Saturday night wasn't it? We had a lot of fun at the Bottom of the Hill didn't we? Music was great, crowd was great, you were talking with two pretty girls who were definitely interested in you and your tool.
Do you remember all of those sloppy kisses you were giving out that were almost like the dog licking his ass? Do you remember licking my neck?! Do you remember touching that lovely silver necklace that Cloe was wearing? Do you remember Cloe's phone? Well we do.
SFPD took your fingerprints off of Cloe's necklace, they took a DNA scraping from my neck and cheek and they downloaded the one photograph of you from Cloe's phone, so despite the fact you took both of our purses, all of our money, all of my sister's credit cards and plane tickets and her brand new Nikon with all of those pics of us dancing we know just who you are.
We know that you have read my blog and that you knew we were coming to San Francisco, you knew what I look like, you knew my name and my sister's name, I may have even have chatted with you. (We don't know that yet, but we will find out.) The concierge at the hotel knows you called looking for us, did you call every hotel in the Bay Area before you found us? The door guy at The Bottom of the Hill remembers you leaving with us, described you perfectly to the nice officers from SFPD this morning and the bouncers and the girl at the titty bar you went to last night where you used my sister's credit card remember you perfectly too. (Never try to touch the pussy of an exotic dancer you stupid fucking moron!)
We have you dead to rights because you are a stupid gopher fucking idiot! I may only be a, what was it you called me, a "stupid fucking back woods cunt" that's it, I may only be a stupid fucking back woods cunt for getting trapped from my own on-line exploits, but what pray tell does that make you? You stole our things, you broke my sister's nose, you dislocated my left shoulder, you tore my panties and my sister's skirt and what did you get? A damn nice camera, $400 cash, 5 credit cards, 2 changes of women's underwear, my sister's tampon case, two purses, and some cosmetics. I hope you enjoyed it, I hope it was everything you hoped for.
You could have spent Saturday night being fucked and sucked until you couldn't see straight by two (modestly speaking) very pretty and horny women, instead you get to spend the next 15 years being butt fucked dry by the members of cell block C. Here they come to get you asshole, enjoy your upcoming vacation, I'll see you again real soon and I am going to wear my sexiest dress to court so you can see just what a stupid, brainless, goat fucking ass wipe you were on Saturday. Think about that every day for the next 15 years!